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12-24-18

If you could hear my heart it would burst your eardrums.

There's a tortured soul that screams within this vessel,

TRAPPED!

Trapped within a mist of conflict.

Time lost only experiencing the seconds that pass.

Sleep doesn't come easy

How come??

Because there's a demon that tortures me every night

Every night he speaks from within,

from within this demon has started to convince me of what he's saying

is true.

"It's been four appeals you've filed, what makes you think

this one is gonna come through?..Haven't you exhausted all

of your remedies by now?...

Go press your bunk," He tells me.

"Quit tellin people your problems. Don't you know 

half of them don't care and the other half are just glad its 

not them," He drops a jewel on me.

"You ain't never going home," He taunts.

"Stop believing these laws are going to pass in your favor," He chastises me

"Who's really going to help you after all this time, its been eleven years now," He admonishes.

"No matter how much you preach about being charged as an adult at seventeen and 

sentenced to forty-one years, and haven't committed murder, they will never comprehend

or understand you. They're free, they will never really feel your pain," He scoffs.

"What can life offer you after serving 41 years behind bars?.. You'll be old and washed up

children of your own is out of the question. Nobody will even know you anymore," He makes me wonder.

"Your great grandma, grandmother, aunts, and your mother will all be dead 

by the time you make it home," He scares me.

"You shouldn't have done what you did, then you'd be alright," He makes me regret my past.

Round for round, pound for pound, I spar with this demon every night.

Beat up and exhausted, I still stand in this ring and fight.

I fight for my life

I fight for my family

And even more, I fight for my sanity.